The
Sunny
Okanagan
May 30
Just moved to THE SUNNY OKANAGAN. NOW THIS IS
THE PLACE TO LIVE.
Beautiful sunny days and warm balmy evenings.
What a place! It's a fabulous place to be.
I've finally found my home. I love it here.
June 14
Really heating up. Got to 100 today. Not a
problem. I live in an air-conditioned home,
drive an air-conditioned car. What a pleasure
to see the sun every day like this. I'm turning
into a sun worshipper.
June 30
Had the backyard landscaped with western plants
today. Lots of cactus and rocks. What a breeze
to maintain. No more mowing lawn for me.
Another scorcher today, but I love it here.
July 10
The temperature hasn't been below 100 all week.
How do people get used to this kind of heat? At
least it's kind of windy though. But getting
used to it, the heat is taking longer than I
expected.
July 15
Fell asleep by the community pool. Got third
degree burns over 60% of my body. Missed 3 days
of work. What a dumb thing to do. I learned my
lesson though. Got to respect the ol' sun in a
climate like this.
July 20
I missed Furby (my cat) sneaking into my car
when I left this morning. By the time I got to
the hot car at noon, Furby had died and swollen
up to the size of a shopping bag and stunk up
the upholstery. The car now smells like Kibbles
and Shits. I learned my lesson though. No more
pets in this heat!
July 25
The wind sucks! It feels like a giant freaking
blow dryer. And it's hot as hell!!!!! The home
air-conditioner is on the fritz and the A/C
repairman charged $200 just to drive by and
tell me he needed to order parts.
July 30
Been trying to sleep outside on the patio for 3
nights now. The damn mosquitoes are sending all
their relatives to me for a buffet dinner. A
$379,000 house and I can't even go inside. Why
did I ever come here?
August 4
It's 105 degrees. Finally got the
air-conditioner fixed today. It cost $500 and
gets the temperature down to 85. I hate this
stupid city.
August 8
If another wise-ass cracks, "Hot enough for you
today?" I'm going to strangle him. Damn heat.
By the time I get to work the radiator is
boiling over, my clothes are soaking wet, and I
smell like freaking baked cat!!
August 9
Tried to run some errands after work. Wore
shorts and when I sat on the seats in the car,
I thought my ass was on fire. I lost 2 layers
of flesh and all the hair on the back of my
legs and ass. Now my car smells like burnt
hair, fried ass and baked cat.
August 10
The weather report might as well be a damn
recording. Hot and sunny! Hot and sunny! Hot
and sunny!
It's been too hot to do shit for 2 damn months
and the weatherman says it might really warm up
next week.
Doesn't it ever rain in this desert? Water
rationing will be next, so my $1700 worth of
cactus will just dry up and blow over. Even the
cactus can't live in this damn heat.
August 14
Welcome to HELL!!
Temperature got to 115 today. Forgot to crack
the window and blew the windshield out of the
car. The installer came to fix it and said,
"Hot enough for you today?" My Mom had to spend
$1500 to bail me out of jail.
Freaking OKANAGAN!! What kind of sick demented
idiot would want to live here??
Will write later to let you know how
the trial went.
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