The Sunny
Okanagan
May 30
Just moved to THE SUNNY OKANAGAN. NOW THIS IS THE PLACE TO LIVE.
Beautiful sunny days and warm balmy evenings. What a place! It's a fabulous place to be.
I've finally found my home. I love it here.
June 14
Really heating up. Got to 100 today. Not a problem. I live in an air-conditioned home, drive an
air-conditioned car. What a pleasure to see the sun every day like this. I'm turning into a sun
worshipper.
June 30
Had the backyard landscaped with western plants today. Lots of cactus and rocks. What a breeze to
maintain. No more mowing lawn for me. Another scorcher today, but I love it here.
July 10
The temperature hasn't been below 100 all week. How do people get used to this kind of heat? At
least it's kind of windy though. But getting used to it, the heat is taking longer than I
expected.
July 15
Fell asleep by the community pool. Got third degree burns over 60% of my body. Missed 3 days of
work. What a dumb thing to do. I learned my lesson though. Got to respect the ol' sun in a climate
like this.
July 20
I missed Furby (my cat) sneaking into my car when I left this morning. By the time I got to the hot
car at noon, Furby had died and swollen up to the size of a shopping bag and stunk up the
upholstery. The car now smells like Kibbles and Shits. I learned my lesson though. No more pets in
this heat!
July 25
The wind sucks! It feels like a giant freaking blow dryer. And it's hot as hell!!!!! The home
air-conditioner is on the fritz and the A/C repairman charged $200 just to drive by and tell me he
needed to order parts.
July 30
Been trying to sleep outside on the patio for 3 nights now. The damn mosquitoes are sending all
their relatives to me for a buffet dinner. A $379,000 house and I can't even go inside. Why did I
ever come here?
August 4
It's 105 degrees. Finally got the air-conditioner fixed today. It cost $500 and gets the
temperature down to 85. I hate this stupid city.
August 8
If another wise-ass cracks, "Hot enough for you today?" I'm going to strangle him. Damn heat. By
the time I get to work the radiator is boiling over, my clothes are soaking wet, and I smell like
freaking baked cat!!
August 9
Tried to run some errands after work. Wore shorts and when I sat on the seats in the car, I thought
my ass was on fire. I lost 2 layers of flesh and all the hair on the back of my legs and ass. Now
my car smells like burnt hair, fried ass and baked cat.
August 10
The weather report might as well be a damn recording. Hot and sunny! Hot and sunny! Hot and
sunny!
It's been too hot to do shit for 2 damn months and the weatherman says it might really warm up next
week.
Doesn't it ever rain in this desert? Water rationing will be next, so my $1700 worth of cactus will
just dry up and blow over. Even the cactus can't live in this damn heat.
August 14
Welcome to HELL!!
Temperature got to 115 today. Forgot to crack the window and blew the windshield out of the car.
The installer came to fix it and said, "Hot enough for you today?" My Mom had to spend $1500 to
bail me out of jail.
Freaking OKANAGAN!! What kind of sick demented idiot would want to live here??
Will write later to let you know how the trial went.
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