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The Three Government
Contractors...
Three contractors are bidding to fix a broken fence at the
Parliament house.; one from Wellington, another from Christchurch and the third, from
Kaitaia.
They go with a government official to examine the fence.
The Wellington contractor takes out a tape measure and does some
measuring, then works some figures with a pencil. "Well", he says, "I figure the job will run about
$900: $400 for materials, $400 for my crew and $100 profit for me."
The Christchurch contractor also does some measuring and figuring,
and then says, "I can do this job for $700: $300 for materials, $300 for my crew and $100 profit
for me."
The Kaitaia contractor doesn't measure or figure but leans over to
the Government official and whispers, "$2,700."
The official, incredulous, says, "You didn't even measure like the
other guys! How did you come up with such a high figure?"
The Kaitaia contractor whispers back, "$1000 for me, $1000 for you,
and we hire the guy from Christchurch to fix the fence."
"Done!" replies the government official.
And that friends, is how it all works!
Submitted By
Alana Trinda Goulburn N.S.W. Australia
LINES TO MAKE YOU SMILE
1.. My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He
thought he was God and I didn't.
2 .. I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy
every minute of it.
3.. Some people are alive only
because it's illegal to kill them.
4.. I used to have a handle on life, but it
broke.
5.. Don't take life too seriously; No one
gets out alive.
6.. You're just jealous because the voices only
talk to me
7.. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
8.. Earth is the insane asylum for the
universe.
9.. I'm not a complete idiot -- S˜= ome
parts are just missing.
10... Out of my mind. Back in five
minutes.
11.. NyQuil, the stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-the-room-spinning
medicine.
12.. God must love stupid people; He made so
many.
13.. The gene pool could use a little
chlorine.
14.. Consciousness: That annoying time betwee˜=
n naps.
15.. Ever stop to think, and forget to start
again?
16.. Being 'over the hill' is much better than
being under it!
17.. Wrinkled Was Not One of the
Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew up.
18 Procrastinate Now!
19.. I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts; Do You Want Fries With
That?
20.. A hangover is the wrath of
grapes.
21.. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash
advance.
22.. Stupidity is not a handicap. Park
elsewhere!
23..They call it PMS because Mad Cow
Disease was already taken.
24.. He who dies with the most toys is
nonetheless DEAD.
25.. A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up
three
thousand times the memory.
26 .. Ham and eggs...A day's work for a
chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig.
27.. The
trouble with life is there's no background music.
28.. The original point and click interface was
a Smith & Wesson.
29.. I smile because I don't know what the hell is going
on.
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