|
The Three Government
Contractors...
Three
contractors are bidding to fix a broken fence
at the Parliament house.; one from Wellington,
another from Christchurch and the third, from
Kaitaia.
They go with a
government official to examine the
fence.
The Wellington
contractor takes out a tape measure and does
some measuring, then works some figures with a
pencil. "Well", he says, "I figure the job will
run about $900: $400 for materials, $400 for my
crew and $100 profit for me."
The Christchurch
contractor also does some measuring and
figuring, and then says, "I can do this job for
$700: $300 for materials, $300 for my crew and
$100 profit for me."
The Kaitaia
contractor doesn't measure or figure but leans
over to the Government official and whispers,
"$2,700."
The official,
incredulous, says, "You didn't even measure
like the other guys! How did you come up with
such a high figure?"
The Kaitaia
contractor whispers back, "$1000 for me, $1000
for you, and we hire the guy from Christchurch
to fix the fence."
"Done!" replies
the government official.
And that friends,
is how it all works!
Submitted
By
Alana Trinda
Goulburn N.S.W.
Australia
LINES
TO MAKE YOU SMILE
1.. My husband
and I divorced over religious differences. He
thought he was God and I didn't.
2 .. I don't suffer from
insanity; I enjoy every minute of
it.
3.. Some people are alive
only because it's illegal to kill
them.
4.. I used to have a handle
on life, but it
broke.
5.. Don't take life too
seriously; No one gets out alive.
6..
You're just jealous because the voices
only talk to me
7.. Beauty is in
the eye of the beer holder.
8.. Earth is the insane
asylum for the
universe.
9.. I'm not a complete idiot
-- S˜= ome parts are just missing.
10...
Out of my mind. Back in five
minutes.
11.. NyQuil, the
stuffy, sneezy,
why-the-heck-is-the-room-spinning
medicine.
12.. God must love stupid
people; He made so
many.
13.. The gene pool could use
a little chlorine.
14.. Consciousness: That
annoying time betwee˜= n
naps.
15.. Ever stop to think, and
forget to start again?
16.. Being 'over the hill' is
much better than being under
it!
17.. Wrinkled Was Not One of
the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew
up.
18
Procrastinate Now!
19.. I Have a
Degree in Liberal Arts; Do You Want Fries With
That?
20..
A hangover is the wrath of
grapes.
21.. A journey of
a thousand miles begins with a cash
advance.
22.. Stupidity is not a
handicap. Park
elsewhere!
23..They call it PMS because
Mad Cow Disease was already taken.
24..
He who dies with the most toys is
nonetheless DEAD.
25.. A picture is
worth a thousand words, but it uses up
three
thousand times
the memory.
26 .. Ham and eggs...A day's
work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a
pig.
27.. The trouble with life is
there's no background music.
28..
The original point and click interface
was a Smith &
Wesson.
29.. I smile
because I don't know what the hell is going
on.
|
